Songs I Hate

I’m exposing a weakness here. If any of those songs are played within earshot, I immediately collapse on the floor, writhing in a pool of my own vomit. These are the WORST songs I have ever heard in my life.

This is not a joke. I’d rather make friends with the petrol station Bangla than listen to these songs.


5. Uncle Kracker – Follow Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQls53Piuj0

His name is enough for me to hate him. Uncle fucking Kracker. But it’s cool because it’s spelt with a ‘K’. You know what haunts my nightmares? Him playing this song to a bunch of idiots around a campfire, and everyone is clapping to the beat. Fucking nightmares leave me, please!

Worst moment: The finger snapping at the beginning. Excruciating.



4. Ricky Martin – Cup of Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJaEVmbzXSA

First of all, this is one of the dumbest song titles I’ve ever heard. It’s a sports trophy - get over it. Cup of LIFE, for fuck’s sake! Talk about overdoing it. And secondly, this is the gayest thing to happen to football since David Beckham’s mohawk.

I hate anything from Ricky Martin, period. When everyone else was chanting “Goal, goal goal!” like a bunch of little homos, I was crying myself to sleep. It’s football, you don’t need to bloody sing about it.

Worst moment: The ‘waving cheer’ during the chorus.



3. Who Let The Dogs Out – Baha Men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8

"Well, the party was nice, the party was pumpin'
Yippie yi yo
And everybody havin' a ball
Yippie yi yo"

Enough said. Let's move on.

Worst moment: The name of the band. Baha Men, for fuck's sake!



2. I'm A Big Big Girl - Emilia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIT_836Hqc0

I'm convinced this song was written in two minutes by an epileptic monkey. "I'm a big big girl, in a big big world." Brilliant. Call Shakespeare and tell him he's no longer considered a literary legend.

If you like this song, I sincerely pray you get leprosy someday (leprosy is Rajjiv's new favourite disease - Editor).

Worst moment: Everything, as far as I'm concerned.



1. I Feel Good - James Brown

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzlpTRNIAvc

I am convinced this is the WORST song ever written. There is not a single thing right about this fucked up song.

I always hated how TV channels used to play this song over 'funny' montages of their shows. Hey everyone, let's play this song and string together clips of Chandler dancing, Raymond shaking his ass and Buffy winking like a fucking spastic, so that it looks like they're all dancing to this song. I FEEL GOOD! FUCKING RIDICULOUS! Who pays these people?

James Brown is thankfully dead and can never perform again. All his songs suck and this one takes the cake.

Worst moment: IT ANGERS ME THAT AFTER LISTENING TO THIS SONG, I DO NOT FEEL GOOD!